Hi. I’m self-employed.

We all knew it wasn’t working.

I wanted it to work, but I wasn’t happy. They weren’t happy with the work I was churning out, either. My confidence had slipped, my focus wasn’t really there. As a result, some balls got dropped. I didn’t feel I could succeed with the tools I had, and they weren’t in a position to give me those tools.

It was kind of like watching a serious but still-fresh relationship unravel. We were 6 months in, and we loved each other as people, but neither of us was really living up to our best potential or getting what we needed out of the relationship.

On a Monday afternoon, we met - the 2 owners of the company, and myself. And with a sweet blend of tears and laughter, we agreed to part ways. I’d go home that night, newly unemployed with a freelancing side hustle that would offer some padding, but a weight lifted off my chest.

We’d gone into the relationship thinking we would be an Allie and Noah type love, and realized we were better off as friends. And embracing that truth, dear reader, instantly flipped a switch in my life.

Rewind to March 2018.

I was sitting on the floor in our master bath. My husband and I had been married 11 months, were finally feeling settled in our home, and had been thinking about starting a family. We tried for a few months, but too many things in my medical history and conversations with doctors left me feeling like it wouldn’t happen. We’d already had a false positive that rocked my world. We decided to focus on other things and NOT pressure ourselves.

Wouldn’t ya know it, but here I was on a Friday night in March, staring at a positive pregnancy test.

Scratch that - 5 positive pregnancy tests. I didn’t trust just one test anymore after the emotional roller coaster of the false positive. But 5? I could trust 5.

Josh, my husband, walked into the bathroom where I sat on the floor staring in shock. “What are you doing?”

“Uh…I have 5 positive pregnancy tests,” I said shakily. I’d been trying to decide how I was going to tell him, but this worked…I guess.

“So…should I put the pizza in the oven?” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we found out our pride and joy was arriving later that year.

Everyhing changes when you become a parent. Even before the baby is here in the outside world, priorities take a groundbreaking shift. The tectonic plates of your life grind and rearrange, and nothing is safe from the tremors.

I once thought “success” would be speaking at conferences, representing big, well-known brands as a leader in my field. I wanted to be THE eCommerce SEO boss lady. I wanted to travel and be recognized on social media as an expert. I wanted to be one of “the cool kids” in the digital marketing space.

All of those pink lines staring up at me from the bathroom floor suddenly rocked the foundations of those plans. And in November of that year, after 24 hours of labor and an emergency c-section featuring a quadruple cord wrap, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but home with our boy every night.

Leading up to my return to work, Josh and I discussed what the new normal would be. We had an amazing daycare lined up, but throughout my pregnancy, we did toy with the idea of me going full-time as a freelancer and staying home with Jamie. It just didn’t feel right at the time. We weren’t quite there from a money standpoint. We had a lot of student loan debt and two car payments, plus our mortgage. I had colleagues I wasn’t ready to part ways with just yet. I went back to my job working for Hallmark’s digital group after 12 weeks of maternity leave, but knew it wasn’t likely to be permanent.

A few weeks after my 4th anniversary with Hallmark, I left. I gave my notice on Cyber Monday, a hilarious irony when you work in eCommerce. And I went to Nickel & Suede, excited to challenge myself in new ways.

That brings us back to May 2020, just a few weeks ago. I told a mentor of mine that things were going sour, and I planned to be parting ways with the company soon. He called me THAT NIGHT, offering to hire me as a freelancer for however many hours a week I wanted to work.

I had some small, loyal clients I knew I could count on, but it wasn’t enough to confidently go home full-time. But this offer? This mentor-turned-fairy-god-client? His faith in me was the golden ticket. I’d have enough work and enough income to stay home, as a consultant, and nurture my son.

I turned 30 on Sunday, May 31st. My first day of self-employment and work-from-home mom life was Monday, June 1st.

While it had always been a dream needling at the back of my mind, I didn’t think it would necessarily happen. Then, a little blonde boy with bright blue eyes entered our world. Some career moves didn’t fit. A mentor placed his trust in me. And here we are.

Hi. I’m self-employed. It’s a new adventure, but I’m so grateful to be here and so ready to share this journey. Thanks for coming along with me.